Seriously Considering Being a No Show on Thursday.. HELP!

[JerseyGurl]

I don't know why but for the last couple of days the worst possible thoughts have been consuming and literally taken over my mind. As the days get closer to what is suppose to be the life changing best day of my life I just can't seem to control these horrible thoughts. The worst one is death. I just keep thinking "What would happen if this surgery leads to the end of my life... I have a husband that I would be leaving behind... I haven't had children yet... I'm only 22 years old" blah blah blah. What is happening to me? Why an't I control these thoughts? And they are just getting worse as the big day gets closer. I'm really considering calling this surgery off because as much as I need and want to loose weight, I don't want to loose my life in the process. I have allowed this thing to completely drown out every pleasant thought that I had in my head. I have given to many pep-talks to people on this site but as of right now I can't seem to take my own advice. Has this happened to anyone else? Is this normal? Is this a sign that I'm not yet ready for this surgery? Please help me out guys. I seriously feel like I am going crazy over this.

[abcmom03]

I don't know if it is normal, but I did the same thing. I even wrote letters to my husband, mom and son....only to be opened if something happened. I was scared but knew that if I DIDN'T have the surgery then I WOULD die! Sending calming thoughts your way!

[Ladyinwaiting]

Only you can tell if this is nervousness related to the unknown or you are not ready for the surgery. I can tell you that it is very difficult deciding on a surgery of this magnitude that is elective. Odds are in your favor to survive the surgery if you don't have major complications. This is not an easy process. Initially after the surgery, life is a little difficult. But if you truely want to make changes, you are in the best place now at 22. I was very nervous up until the day before my surgery when I did come to peace with my decision. I even went as far to make notes about my funeral for my husband. I think I was a little irrational at that point. You are young and could have a long, happy, thinner life ahead of you. Good luck on your decision, we are here for you.

[chicaa]

I felt the same way . I hope you find Peace within yourself .

[twnsn2000]

Do what is best for you. According to my surgeon there is a less than 1% fatality rate during surgery. The number is a lot bigger for you when you're over weight and can die from numerous things. Ultimately it is your decision but I say do it. I wouldn't have said this my first week out due to the gas pain I had but now, if I had to go back and do it all over again, I would in a heart beat.

[niamh]

Nobody can tell you that there isn't a risk of death with this surgery. There is. But the fact that you're now thinking about it all the time is an emotional reaction - it doesn't mean that it's become any more likely than before. There is a risk you will die in a car crash every time you get in a car, but you get in anyway.

I made the decision that the large risks of significant health problems and the existing fact of my reduced quality of life were too great to ignore, and that addressing these real and significant risks far outweighed the very small and unlikely risks of complication and death. It didn't mean I could guarantee it - but it meant I knew I was doing it for the right reason.

BUT - I was still very scared going to into the operation. I rewrote my will, I talked with my family and told them I loved them etc etc, just in case. I did what I felt I could do if the unlikely unhappened, and then I went ahead even though I was shit scared. I cried as they wheeled me away from my husband and into the operating theatre. I wondered if they were my final moments just before I went under, and a lovely nurse held my hand and wiped my tears from my eyes.

It's only fear - it doesn't change the likelihood. Fear of death is common and completely understandable. They are just feelings to be tolerated and dealt with - you don't even need to make them go away. Just make the decision that you won't change your decision based on your feelings. Just be kind to yourself, acknowledge your fear and keep putting one foot in front of the other anyway.

Remember that "courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that something else is more important than fear". can't remember who said that, but it's a sentiment expressed by many people in many ways over the years. Face your fear with courage and move ahead anyway.

[Sweetessa]

Don't be a no-show!! Do you think you will ever get a chance like this again? This is going to change your life. Feeling worried is not a sign that you aren't ready - it's totally normal. I was so scared I was shaking for days before my surgery and I wanted to back out too, but I knew that it's now or never. I laid down on the surgical table full of fear. The next moment I was awake and I was still alive, with no complications! I could choose to have the surgery and get healthy - or stay fat and get fatter and sick. So I did it. The risk of complications and death from surgery is lower then the risks and mortality rate of being obese!! I was afraid about it, but the surgery was so much easier then I could have imagined. You will have pain for a couple days but it is very manageable. Then you will get into the rhythm of your new lifestyle and start wondering how you ate the way you did before. If you try to eat like a sleever now it will feel difficult - but once you have had the sleeve it is very easy. You just don't get the feeling of hunger the same way you did before. I hope you will go through with this and get healthy and confident The feeling of losing weight with the sleeve is such a rewarding experience.

[jrenee63]

I have had some of those same thoughts. Almost daily. I keep coming back with, well it's better to take a risk to be healthy than to live like this any longer. I understand your feelings/fears/doubts. The one thing that keeps me positive and focused on the results is this site. There are so many success stories. I see people going through the process and coming out of it glad they did it. I really believe the pros outweigh all the cons, and hey, I've had 2 c-section births so I'm no stranger to major surgery and I came through those fine-sore but fine. I remember that and it gives me more positive thoughts.
I wish you all the best with your decision, whatever it is.

[ShadowCruiser]

It's the doubt and fear of unknown...it's normal to feel this way. Please don't do this to yourself! It's ok to be nervous, but think positive and where you are going to be 3, 6, 12 months post sleeve.

What drew me into your post was your desire to have kids. Can I tell you how hard it will be to conceive being overweight? I struggled with 10 years of infertility, with 95% of the problem: my weight. Give yourself the best chance of having children by taking care of yourself!! And being pg in my late 30s AND overweight caused a lot of other issues for me as well. And all the complications I did have with my pregnancies, all of them, yes, all of them had something to do with my weight and my "advanced" age--medically speaking--because it took so long to get and stay pregnant to term.

It's ok to doubt...it's natural. And you will come out stronger, healthier on the other side...and will def be a healthier mama when that time comes!!!

[Vg1978]

Please be strong and finish what you started. These feelings are completely normal, you can do it and will do it!!

[whistlerpotpie]

I am sorry you are so stressed. I have had the same thoughts. Please let us know what you decide and how you are!

[MrsB0324]

Where's your faith? God wouldn't bring you this far to forsake you now. Keep praying, believing, and trusting in God to see you through. Or, you can stay where you are and continue your life and run the risk of failing health due to obesity. As you know, diabetes (sugar as the old folks call it), high blood pressure, and heart disease are prevalent in the Afirican American community and as young and beautiful wonman, you can greatly reduce these risks by losing the extra weight. Take it from someone who wished they had this opportunity at 35 when I started to gain weight. Now, at 50, I'm finally in the position to reduce my chances of health issues and increase my chances for a better lifestyle. Pray on things and ask God to give you the strength to concur your fears! I'll be praying for you as well....!!

[KathyL]

Only you can make the decision. Know we are all here for you.

[Town976]

Only you can make the decision, just be sure you are making the decision based on facts. This surgery is no more dangerous than gall bladder surgery. It is a very safe surgery. This was my first surgery EVER. Yes, I was scared, but I did and came through great. My surgeon gave great advice. Drink at least 64 ounces of fluids the day before surgery, and it helps greatly with recovery. I had no nausea due to the anesthesia, and I feel quite confident it was due to the water I drank the day before.

Everyone at the hospital was great. They know what you are going through and are very helpful.

Like I said, only you can make this decision, just make sure you are making and educated decision, not just an emotional one.

[JerseyGurl]

Thank you so much everyone. I actually cried while reading your responses.I don't really have anyone to go to with problems relating to the surgery being that no one wants me to have it. I am so grateful that I can come here and get such great feedback. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It really means a lot to me