2 Years out, and not there yet...HELP

[incredibleshrnkngshirly]

I am exactly on the same boat as you, I don't even bother updating my ticker because I am back to my pre-op weight now 1yr 7 months after op. If it helps, I am also the laziest piggy in the world that refuse to exercise so I am resorting to the Fat Flush Water and trying to watch my diet a little and drinking no-sugar soy milk with banana for breakfast to drop the inches on the belly. (I only started the soy milk today, but I watched a Taiwanese health TV program & it said research has proven soy milk does not drop weight but helps drop inches.) (As for the FFW, many people on the Get the Weight Down Facebook Group tried it and showed results & I personally felt it made sure I did not gain any more despite my horrific binges the period of time I was drinking it.

Hope it helps.
Anyway, I am re-reading the book The Secret, and it said to have positive mindset and be joyful belief in what we want (something along that lines) so think of it that way... the stomach is a living tissue... so if we start eating lesser again like pre-op... wouldn't our stomach shrink back to like just after op... maybe. just maybe...

I know what you mean my friend...this was no magic bullet like I thought it would be. I have gotten to where I hate holidays. We are having a 4th of July celebration this Saturday at my in laws house. I am trying to prepare myself for all the ugly comments that I know my in laws are going to hurl my way. You see, my sister in law had the bi-pass surgery one month after I had the sleeve. I almost resented her for having surgery at the same time as me, but she had been considering it longer than I had. She did it for cosmetic reasons, I did it in order to live. My sister in law had to GAIN 50 pounds before she could qualify for the surgery....I had to LOSE 15 before I could have mine! It just seems so unfair...but enough whining! I am not at goal, I had twenty pounds to get to MY goal...I reached the docs goal and all three of my docs are proud of me. I'm healthier than I have ever been since gaining all the weight...no longer on asthma meds or no longer on Sleep Apnea Bi-pap machines to help me breathe. You and I my friend are addicted to food. We need to support each other and pray for one another...at least we have us. I know how hard it is, but you and I can do this!!! I'm eating out of a cup now to force portion control on myself...it's working...slowly because I'm a lazy snacker.....but working still......keep me posted...I accepted your friend request...I need all the friends I can get....I hate knowing I have to suffer abuse this weekend...prayers please :-(

[incredibleshrnkngshirly]

i will keep you in my prayers. i feel your disappointment. i am over a year and i am not at goal. the scale just stays the same. i did just go back to my trainer but when im with her i dont lose pounds just inches. due to personal issues on her end i am left to train myself and keep up the work. i dont exercise everyday but i get in at least 2 days a week for a half hr. do i hate working out? hell yeah, some days i HATE it, but i know that i NEED it to keep the weight down or to help it to go away. i have days i slip up and eat more than i should, im getting laxed in watching my calorie intake, but i have to check myself and say hey being laxed is how i got as big as i was. my wife is almost 5 months out and she has been slipping with the junk food but yesterday i sent her a pic of us before the surgery. she immediately went home and started exercising for over an hr. that pic is our motivation to never go back to that life. you can do this Shirly!!! and you look amazing by the way

Thank you Shaah....is that your wife in the pic? She is lovely! Thank you so much for the prayers. I wish I was more of a fighter. My friend has asked me to walk the mall with her starting next week. I have set a personal goal to reach by my birthday August 1.....I will turn 55, and I want to lose ten pounds...I have a month...I believe I can do it....please pray for me.....read the below message to Glaciereaux....tells you why indeed the prayers...badly....thanks for the uplifting words!

[Cece42]

Shirley,
I just came back to this forum after taking a little detour in life and gaining 17 lbs. I also am 2 years out (in August) and feel your pain! I also love popcorn-- the salty, crunchy demon. I also ate it every day after work (stressed?). I don't have it in my home anymore, did the 5 day pouch test and came back here for support. I know the "magic" is gone but for me, carbs and snacking create a never ending cycle. God must have heard you, look at all the support you have here! Also, I think that a lot of people struggle and many of them get discouraged and leave the boards...you're here and we are in this together! If you're feeling discouraged, get out a before picture...and remember how far you've come.

[Grace]

Oh do I hear you!
I am up about 17 lbs from where I dropped down to last year at this time.
I feel it's a combo of a lot of issues.
Like you I don't exercise - partly because the only one I can do with my knees is swim and I'm not near a warm pool anymore (hoping to change that soon).
If you don't LIKE your exercise you just won't do it. So think of something you'd like, be it swimming, gentle yoga ( should be able to find an all woman group for that), or walking with a friend or borrowing a dog if you don't have one. (freaks me out when women walk alone)
Also - there is body image/excess skin. Like you I stopped 1 size short of where I wanted to be (2 sizes now). I wanted to be a size 16. But what I saw in the mirror without clothes on freaked me out so much I stopped I think on purpose because all that was happening was I was seemingly growing more loose skin rather than losing weight. While I could stuff it all into a shaper and look pretty good dressed there was always that time I had to take the shaper off and gravity took over. Plastics are NOT an option for me money wise and I'd never consider MX - it's just not something I'm comfortable with safety wise (ptsd). So I decided (according to psych) that because I didn't reach my goal I had totally failed and said F it, I might as well go back to enjoying life (which for us foodies means...eating!) So, those few potato chips and that mc'ds ice cream cone slip in. Then its a cookie or two and we're off to the races. Loaded baked potato for dinner - you get what I mean. It just is a very slippery slope.
But you know in the past year my body has changed shape again - redistributed a bit and I think it might look better this time around.
Like you I'd like to get what I gained back off and ultimately get down to that comfy size 16, but I'm also proud of myself for not gaining more back. Anywhere you catch yourself and stop is good. It's a learning process. No one said it was going to be easy, especially for us mature folks. And I don't know about you but I can't seem to recapture that drive I had before the surgery. I think perhaps that kind of thing ebbs and flows,and it's a matter of staying steady until you feel that drive and then grabbing the wheel with both hands and getting that last few miles in on this journey. Think of it this way.... now you know what happens if you have a slip up. Next time you get down to where you want to be, perhaps that lesson will help you to not make the same mistake, right?
Be kind to yourself. Hugs.

[Give glory]

I've learned from my therapist that I started going to prior to my surgery. I kept going in a terrible circle of eating everything around food and eating and eating. I wanted to find out what was behind all the eating. I went to her weekly and uncovered a lot of things that I wasn't aware of and how to deal with them. For example after eating a bag of cheese doodles I felt like crap what she taught me to do was connect that feeling of crap to the actual act of eating the chees doodles BEFORE I at the whole bag. That feeling of discuss would be there at the moment I thought about eating them. And many of the coping mechanism I had we're there from a child. It's amazing what you can learn about yourself if you take the time to find out. Maybe it will help for some of you. The body only needs food to sustain itself the rest of the stuff is on us and our own needs and wants. It has really helped me get a new perspective on what I'm doing and why

[incredibleshrnkngshirly]

Shirley,
I just came back to this forum after taking a little detour in life and gaining 17 lbs. I also am 2 years out (in August) and feel your pain! I also love popcorn-- the salty, crunchy demon. I also ate it every day after work (stressed?). I don't have it in my home anymore, did the 5 day pouch test and came back here for support. I know the "magic" is gone but for me, carbs and snacking create a never ending cycle. God must have heard you, look at all the support you have here! Also, I think that a lot of people struggle and many of them get discouraged and leave the boards...you're here and we are in this together! If you're feeling discouraged, get out a before picture...and remember how far you've come.

Celeste, you just put the biggest ol smile on my face! I had such a horrible weekend! My in laws are kind people but they have no filter whatsoever! The things that come out of those old folks mouths still shocks me! They are the type that say "put on a few pounds huh?" My sister in law had a gastric bypass just one month AFTER I had my sleeve. My heart sank when she told me she was having surgery too. I'm not a jealous person, but I'm not a competitive one either. My husbands family is so bad about comparing, competing, and just plain obnoxious! When my husband was young, he was prone to gain. They made fun of him :-( ....I said all of that to give you a little history. Now sis in law is down to goal...she is beautiful and she is sweet, but this weekend we all met at my in laws house for their anniversary.....my sis in law gave me a hunk of chocolate cake big enough to choke a horse. Knowing my food addiction like she does, I was hurt that she gave it to me to begin with....but what hurt me more was my lack of self control. I should have ate a fourth and thrown the rest away. I ate the fourth alright and was full. Then later as it went down, I got up to go throw the cake away and I ended up shoving it in my mouth!!! I stood there in that kitchen, alone, crying because I ate that cake! Crying because I feel as if I've lost all control, and crying because she knew my weakness and tempted me anyway. It seemed as if she wanted me to fail and I let it happen.

As I was praying at church I felt The Lord tell me that my sis in law has to stay skinny...it's something she has to fight for. I dont think she really meant me any harm, the competition thing is all they have.
I'm blessed to be as far as I am in this thing but I'm not going to let food ruin my life again. I walk with a friend now and I've set a small goal of ten pounds. I have to see my sister in law again in two weeks, I hope I can lose it by then,but if not, I'm just not going to accept any cake from her...LOL

Oh yeah, she insisted on us taking a side by side picture...full length of course...I'm waiting to see it show up on Facebook :-/

[incredibleshrnkngshirly]

Oh do I hear you!
I am up about 17 lbs from where I dropped down to last year at this time.
I feel it's a combo of a lot of issues.
Like you I don't exercise - partly because the only one I can do with my knees is swim and I'm not near a warm pool anymore (hoping to change that soon).
If you don't LIKE your exercise you just won't do it. So think of something you'd like, be it swimming, gentle yoga ( should be able to find an all woman group for that), or walking with a friend or borrowing a dog if you don't have one. (freaks me out when women walk alone)
Also - there is body image/excess skin. Like you I stopped 1 size short of where I wanted to be (2 sizes now). I wanted to be a size 16. But what I saw in the mirror without clothes on freaked me out so much I stopped I think on purpose because all that was happening was I was seemingly growing more loose skin rather than losing weight. While I could stuff it all into a shaper and look pretty good dressed there was always that time I had to take the shaper off and gravity took over. Plastics are NOT an option for me money wise and I'd never consider MX - it's just not something I'm comfortable with safety wise (ptsd). So I decided (according to psych) that because I didn't reach my goal I had totally failed and said F it, I might as well go back to enjoying life (which for us foodies means...eating!) So, those few potato chips and that mc'ds ice cream cone slip in. Then its a cookie or two and we're off to the races. Loaded baked potato for dinner - you get what I mean. It just is a very slippery slope.
But you know in the past year my body has changed shape again - redistributed a bit and I think it might look better this time around.
Like you I'd like to get what I gained back off and ultimately get down to that comfy size 16, but I'm also proud of myself for not gaining more back. Anywhere you catch yourself and stop is good. It's a learning process. No one said it was going to be easy, especially for us mature folks. And I don't know about you but I can't seem to recapture that drive I had before the surgery. I think perhaps that kind of thing ebbs and flows,and it's a matter of staying steady until you feel that drive and then grabbing the wheel with both hands and getting that last few miles in on this journey. Think of it this way.... now you know what happens if you have a slip up. Next time you get down to where you want to be, perhaps that lesson will help you to not make the same mistake, right?
Be kind to yourself. Hugs.

Thank you Grace and God bless you Hon! Not many people understand the food addiction part of it. And it helps me so much when kind folks like you take the time to share with me, let me know I'm in good company! Like you and Celeste, I'm two years out and no plastic surgery can fix me,I can't afford to go to my therapist anymore and so you good folks are it for me :-) I do like to walk. I have a sixteen foot pool in my backyard that I don't use :-/ I have no excuse. I think I'm the laziest person alive...shameful but true. I'm so ashamed of my behavior....I think I have no respect for myself, but with God's help, I'm going to make it.

[incredibleshrnkngshirly]

I've learned from my therapist that I started going to prior to my surgery. I kept going in a terrible circle of eating everything around food and eating and eating. I wanted to find out what was behind all the eating. I went to her weekly and uncovered a lot of things that I wasn't aware of and how to deal with them. For example after eating a bag of cheese doodles I felt like crap what she taught me to do was connect that feeling of crap to the actual act of eating the chees doodles BEFORE I at the whole bag. That feeling of discuss would be there at the moment I thought about eating them. And many of the coping mechanism I had we're there from a child. It's amazing what you can learn about yourself if you take the time to find out. Maybe it will help for some of you. The body only needs food to sustain itself the rest of the stuff is on us and our own needs and wants. It has really helped me get a new perspective on what I'm doing and why

I love your forum name sister! I was seeing a therapist but our insurance changed and now it doesn't cover mental health needs like before. I can't afford to go to her now. She did tell me to try and notice WHEN I snacked. She said most of what over eaters do is out of sheer habit. So I did notice that I wanted a snack as soon as I got out of my bath at night...mom used to give us popcorn, ice cream etc...AFTER our bath at night while watching TV....it was a pleasant time for us...so we seek those pleasant times now. I'm trying to play games now on my iPad instead and get my focus off food......thank you again dear for your kind words and your support....I will keep you in my prayers as I do all of us :-)

[Give glory]

Yes Shirley we have to do what we can to help ourselves but we ultimately know where all our help comes from. We will get there it may take longer than some but we will get there. I will keep you in my prayers as well. And continue to Givemglory !

[Cece42]

Celeste, you just put the biggest ol smile on my face! I had such a horrible weekend! My in laws are kind people but they have no filter whatsoever! The things that come out of those old folks mouths still shocks me! They are the type that say "put on a few pounds huh?" My sister in law had a gastric bypass just one month AFTER I had my sleeve. My heart sank when she told me she was having surgery too. I'm not a jealous person, but I'm not a competitive one either. My husbands family is so bad about comparing, competing, and just plain obnoxious! When my husband was young, he was prone to gain. They made fun of him :-( ....I said all of that to give you a little history. Now sis in law is down to goal...she is beautiful and she is sweet, but this weekend we all met at my in laws house for their anniversary.....my sis in law gave me a hunk of chocolate cake big enough to choke a horse. Knowing my food addiction like she does, I was hurt that she gave it to me to begin with....but what hurt me more was my lack of self control. I should have ate a fourth and thrown the rest away. I ate the fourth alright and was full. Then later as it went down, I got up to go throw the cake away and I ended up shoving it in my mouth!!! I stood there in that kitchen, alone, crying because I ate that cake! Crying because I feel as if I've lost all control, and crying because she knew my weakness and tempted me anyway. It seemed as if she wanted me to fail and I let it happen.

As I was praying at church I felt The Lord tell me that my sis in law has to stay skinny...it's something she has to fight for. I dont think she really meant me any harm, the competition thing is all they have.
I'm blessed to be as far as I am in this thing but I'm not going to let food ruin my life again. I walk with a friend now and I've set a small goal of ten pounds. I have to see my sister in law again in two weeks, I hope I can lose it by then,but if not, I'm just not going to accept any cake from her...LOL

Oh yeah, she insisted on us taking a side by side picture...full length of course...I'm waiting to see it show up on Facebook :-/

Sweets for me is the most slippery slope, even more so than salty foods. So you ate the cake, I have been known to buy those mini cakes or cookie dough just to eat them (yes, after surgery since we're telling the truth), you have lost 81 lbs...that is HUGE. Give glory had some great advice, I have also read some good books recommended by a psychologist...Mindless Eating and Shrink Yourself. It comes down to this, we are imperfect humans, sometimes we fall down and we just have to get back up! We're all here to help each other.

[Sunlilly]

You have done so well to this point. Just try to find that same motivation you had in the beginning. I know it's easier said than done. I wouldn't say I've ever had an eating disorder but there are certain foods that I love and don't want to give up, but realize it will be a long while before I can indulge. (only 6 weeks out). Don't give up, Keep the faith! You can do this! You've already done it!

[tmclenn]

Hi Shirley, I'm sliding the slippery slope downwards too, a few chips here, popcorn there...gained 4lbs....I want to stop and not go back there too. I have struggled with compulsive bing-eating since I was 8, done lots of therapy and know the triggers... but for some reason keep chosing to be unhealthy. The serenity prayer while I walk helps keep things in focus for me, my church time is while walking out in nature, talking to God. Keep talking, to God, us, whomever helps....I so understand your frustration

[~Fawn]

Sometimes we forget ad lose sight, have you gone back to the basics to get yourself moving agan? my doc suggested (over the phone) at one point to start with liquids again...or try the pouch test... good luck my friend.

Surgical Weight Loss 5 Day Pouch Test

[HoneyAllen]

It is more often to see people pertaining to wrong notions and selections about their own health issues . For example people choose aspartame as an alternative to sugar should know that aspartame is linked with over 90 adverse effects on health. Sugar has its own health problems but aspartame is not a healthier alternative. It is just like hitting your head with a wooden bat instead of a metal bat.

[jactkb]

Most areas have therapists that have sliding fee scales, so that people without insurance can afford it. Just Google the words "sliding fee" and your area. You are worth the money. Good Luck!!